Maybe it's not wrong to love. Maybe it's not wrong to be loved. Maybe it's not wrong to be in love. My heart keep questioning is it wrong? I'm confused, I can't believe in anything, or anyone, including myself. I feel like banging my head hardly on the wall, I feel like tearing my heart so I won't feel the pain. I'm learning to be better and treat everyone nicer, but is it worth? I'm empty inside. Those cheerful faces I make, it's all fake. You wouldn't know my feelings. I don't want you to know. People can't be trusted. My mom teaches me that. Do you believe that love is actually lust? Yes, I do. I'm tired of living, could someone just rip my head off? Problems, troubles are all fucking me off. I can't stand this alone with by bare feet.
I need someone, someone that can make me stronger and not just protect me. I need someone that can think wisely than I do. I need someone that didn't ask me if I'm in trouble cause he already know what I'm feeling and ready to be by my side whenever I need him. I need someone that I can toy him around. I need someone that not only willing to hear my problems but tried to solve it. I need someone that not only saying goodnight every night but feeling dumb if he didn't spend time with me every second. I need someone that admit that he was wrong eventhough it's my fault. I need someone that can speak up with his own voice. I need someone that leave me alone when I'm sad and send a letter "IM SORRY" with two such simple words and not texting. I need someone that would say my cooking was tasteless and lying that his tongue is giving problems.
But I know that will never be true. It's fake, all fake. I'm tired of this life. And I'm fuckin hate myself so it's not suprising if you hate me too.
Syafiqaa.
